I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
