You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
