I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
