she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
