actually, I'm a sock model
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
