my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
