Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
