there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
