i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
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