i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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