i wish my penis had a tongue
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
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