Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
