so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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