do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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