I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
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