the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize