omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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