Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Rumble strips road head = magical
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
