My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
