The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
