i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
