we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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