No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
