you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
