explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize