did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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