You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
