Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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