i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize