the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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