Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
