Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
And then he peed in my hair
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