How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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