Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
