I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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