He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
