I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
