I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
