It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
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I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
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We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?