he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
21 Millennials Confess The Most Awkward Way Someone Has Tried Hitting On Them
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
