they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick