i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridgeđź¤”