I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room