Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Randomize
