So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
