I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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