I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
