I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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