would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
