The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
