Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
