i came on her dog
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
