This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
