You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Randomize
