This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize