My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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