If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
We left an ass print on the piano.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
