i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
