i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
