The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i barfeds in our rink
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
