So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
