I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
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